I firmly believe that everybody has the potential to live a life that is meaningful and successful.

Of course, we all have different desires, different capabilities and different personalities.  We also speak in different tongues, have different preferences, and come from different cultures and traditions.  Nevertheless, in spite of these differences, every person is given the opportunity of choosing a way of life that will ultimately lead to success, or to unhappiness and despair.

In the final analysis, we choose what we make of our lives. We cannot always choose our circumstances but we can always choose our attitudes and our responses.  This is what gives each one of us the power to make something of ourselves.

In the award-winning movie “Yesterday”, a Zulu mother named Leleti Khumalo, discovers she has Aids.  A humble, dedicated and innocent woman, Leleti takes on the full load of running her household.  She looks after, and cares for, her young daughter, while her husband works on the mines near Johannesburg.  When she is diagnosed with Aids she travels to Johannesburg to give him the unfortunate news, and is viciously assaulted.

Soon after, her husband, unable to continue working, is sent home.  He is very sick and the word gets out that he has Aids.  People of Leleti’s community confront her with their fears. She admits that she, and her husband, are afflicted by the disease.

As tragic as these circumstances are, worse is to follow.  Leleti, her husband and daughter, are victimized and banished by the community in which they live.  Forced to leave her people, Leliti builds a shack to house herself and her family.  Eventually her husband dies.  Now she is alone with her young daughter.

Yet abandoned, isolated, and sick as she is, Leleti refuses to lose hope.  She resolves to give her daughter a good start in life, so she makes plans to have the girl fostered.  She is also determined to remain alive until her child goes to school.

Leleti chooses to live in the present and remain positive.  She refuses to become angry, she forgives, and simply gets on with her life in spite of incredibly difficult circumstances.

Leleti’s story is one of tragedy.  She is a victim of her husband’s unfaithfulness, of prejudice, poverty and an incurable illness.  And yet she is entirely innocent.

Most of us would understand if Leleti became bitter, vengeful, resentful and depressed.  But she didn’t.  She decided to take charge of her life, face her challenges, look to the future, forgive and live one day at a time.  She chose to live with purpose and with love. She chose to accept what could not be changed and do what she could to overcome or manage the problems that confronted her.

Leleti’s story is testimony to the resilience and courage of the human spirit.  It demonstrates that there can be meaning and significance in the midst of suffering.

A meaningful life is a successful life.  To choose a meaningful life, we need to embrace five attributes.   We might refer to these as five habits for successful living.  Each one of these characteristics begins with the letter P.

Living the 5 Ps will not guarantee wealth, fame or power.  The 5 Ps do not eliminate hardships, problems or illnesses.

Though Leleti may not always have had a cognitive awareness of how she was expressing the 5 Ps, the movie clearly demonstrates that each one was very much an integral part of her, and thus played an important role in a life that, though difficult, was meaningful and significant.

Let’s now examine the five Ps one at a time.

1. Know and fulfil your purpose

Everybody has a purpose in life.  It could be a specific talent or a unique gift to give to the world.  It could also be something quite ordinary that, with the right attitude, enriches the lives of others in an extraordinary way.

Every piece of equipment is made with a purpose in mind.  Can you imagine a toolmaker creating a tool for no reason?  It would be foolish to make an implement without knowing why it is to be made and what purpose it is to fulfil. So it is that a hammer is made to knock nails, a screwdriver is created to turn screws, a drill is manufactured to make holes, and so on.

You too, have a purpose.  Your life, and that of everyone else, is no accident.  There is something that you were born to accomplish, a need you are required to fill. For this reason you were born with the potential to do something special.

However, while we are given the capacity to do well at something, we are not born with skills.  A great pianist arrives in the world with a special talent, but he still has to go to great lengths to learn, practice and diligently apply himself.  An athlete may have the potential to break world records, but this capacity will never come to fruition unless she works hard and trains effectively.

Finding your talent, and acquiring the skills to fulfil your purpose, is therefore the first of the five Ps for successful living.  Our lives are not to be aimless.  We were not born to take up space, to be excess baggage on this earthly trip.

To fulfil our purposes in life we need to progress through three stages. They are: discovery, acquisition and service.

The first stage requires us to discover our purpose, or reason, for living.

Each of us has the ability to excel in some way. You have been given a special talent.  This means that there is something that you are able to do that is unique and that differentiates you from the rest of humanity.  Furthermore, your way of expressing this talent is extraordinary. You are special, different and needed.  This is why you are born.

How then do we discover our true selves? How can we find out what we are here for?

To answer these questions look within your self.  Do you have a natural talent for something?  Do you have a deep desire to learn something or express yourself in a certain way?  If so, this could well be the thing you were meant to do, or at least a stepping-stone towards it.

If you are still not sure what you want to do, sit down with a pen and paper and write down the answers to these two questions:  What are my strengths? and, How am I best suited to serve others?  Your responses will point you in the direction of your purpose.

The reason you have been given gifts and talents is to use them to enrich the lives of others. So, discover your strengths and put them into practice.

But what if, after examining yourself, you still don’t know what your talents are, or what you want to do.  Does it mean that you have been overlooked in the distribution of capacities?  Not at all!

You are unique and special. Don’t ever forget that. Without becoming despondent or discouraged, do your very best in whatever you are called to do.  Perform every task to the best of your ability.  Be of service. Give. Go the extra mile.  Do this consistently and, sooner or later, doors will open.  Opportunities will come your way and your path will be made clear.

If you can’t do what you love you can love what you do?  Either way you will discover your purpose in life.  I’ll have more to say about this under the heading of passion, but for now keep in mind that it is easier to direct a moving truck than a stationary one.

The second stage is to acquire the requisite skills to fulfil your purpose.

After discovery comes action. Action requires dedicated learning and application.  No surgeon got to the operating theatre by accident.  No skill came into being through osmosis.

Having the gift, and even the desire, are not enough.  One must have the determination to follow-through and become fully what one is capable of becoming.  This is where many people fail.  They want to achieve, to count for something, to make a difference, but they are not willing to pay the price.

Remember that nothing comes from nothing.  If you want a happy marriage you have to work at it.  If you want to be respected you have to respect others.  You have to give in order to get.  That is one of nature’s fundamental laws.

A good farmer prepares the land, sows the seed, waters the crop and reaps the harvest.  If another farmer does none of these things the land will never supply what it is capable of delivering.  Its potential will never be actualised. The same applies to innate gifts and talents.

The third stage of fulfilling your purpose is to serve humanity with your skills.

Many people use their talents and skills to serve themselves and accumulate wealth at the expense of others.  This type of behaviour never satisfies, for it is driven by greed.

The problem with greed is that whatever is gained is never enough.  A wealthy man, driven by greed, may have more money than he can spend, yet he still manipulates, abuses, schemes and takes advantage of people. Why?  Because whatever he has is insufficient.  And it never will be enough.  His greed will see to that.

In the end, self-serving goals are narcissistic.  We are designed to serve others and our spiritual and psychological well-being are dependent on this fact.  I’ve never known a happy person who is self centred and self absorbed. On the hand I’ve known many people who dedicate themselves to serving others and who, as a consequence, enrich the world, are blessings to others and find fulfilment.

Does that mean that wealth is to be frowned upon in the course of achieving ones purpose?  Not at all!

There is nothing wrong with money as long as it is obtained honestly and is the reward for doing something particularly well.  In fact our rewards in life should be in direct proportion to our contribution.  Find your talent, develop a skill, serve a need and there is a strong likelihood that money will find its way to you.  Under these circumstances, money is the reward for the contribution you have made, and you deserve it.  The more money you earn, the more resources you have to do good for others. This is why many wealthy people spend a great deal of their wealth on worthy projects through foundations and trusts.

Take the case of Alfred Nobel. He became rich and famous for, amongst other things, the discovery of dynamite.  Upon the death of Alfred’s brother, a reporter wrongly reported that Alfred had died and published an article on his life, including the way in which dynamite was being used to harm and destroy.

So disturbed was Alfred Nobel by the report, that he resolved to be remembered for something worthy.  Consequently, he bequeathed his fortune of over nine million dollars (a huge amount at the time) to set up international awards for the purpose of honouring great achievements to mankind. The first prize was awarded in 1901, and today few people are aware that Alfred Nobel was a philanthropist and inventor with over 100 patents.  What Nobel is best known for is the prize that bears his name.

Discover your purpose, develop your unique talent, serve humanity and you can generate all the wealth you want.  By these means you will find meaning and significance.

2. Live with passion

To live fully each of us needs to have passion.  Passion is another name for zeal or enthusiasm.

Without passion, our lives become dull.  We have no impact. There is no spark, no fire that burns deep within to light up the world and inspire others.  Without passion we fail to generate the energy that enlivens and enthuses.  Without passion, life becomes a boring sequence of routine activities and meaningless motions. Without passion we lack motivation.

To be truly successful, we have to live with passion. Determine to love what you do and to give yourself fully to every activity, no matter how menial the task.

Many people only do what they are paid for, and they only do what they have to.  These people are like prostitutes.

What drives a prostitute? Only money.  There is no desire to serve.  A prostitute has no love for what she does.  She sells herself. She allows herself to be used and exploited, all for cash. There is no passion in prostitution whether at the physical, mental or behavioural levels.

If you are working only for money, you are doing just what a prostitute does.  You are selling yourself.

So live with passion. Be enthusiastic.  Throw yourself into your activities with all your heart. Do your best. Let your work be an expression of your love.

With this attitude you will find that even the simplest, everyday things take on a new quality.  The things you previously put off, disliked and avoided, now become expressions of your purpose.  Consequently, they become meaningful.

Recently, I was listening to an audio book about Mother Theresa and her life. She, and the sisters of the Missionaries of Charity (the order she founded), often went into the shacks of the poorest of the poor and spent hours cleaning up filth and human excreta. And they did it with joy.

Can you imaging that?  Can anybody enjoy such degrading tasks?  Mother Theresa did.  She said that it was a privilege to serve the poor, the destitute, the sick and the rejected. In such people she saw the spirit of Jesus in all his disguises.  Consequently, mopping up dirt, grime and excrement was a labour of love.  She not only embraced it, she even looked forward to it.  That’s real passion.

3. Seek peace

A state of peace is one of harmony and concord. A peaceful person is free of hostility. Peace is the absence of disquieting or oppressing emotions.  It is the condition of the liberated and tranquil soul.

The opposite of peace is condemnation, turmoil and inner conflict.

Inner peace does not come automatically and without effort.  It requires a focused effort to overcome the natural inclinations of egotistical, narcissistic behaviours.  Instead of using and manipulating others, we need to care about, and serve, others.  Fulfilling your purpose in life is one of the conditions of attaining peace.  But there is more to it than that.

To find peace, each one of us is required to free ourselves from the shackles of judgment, non-forgiveness and worry. The bible tells us just how devastating these three impediments are in the following passages:

Do not judge or you too will be judged (Matt 7:1)

If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others of their sins, your Father will not forgive you of your sins. (Matt 6:14-15)

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow… (Matt 6:34)

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? (Luke 12:25-26)

A person who judges is one who condemns others, just like the judge in a court of law condemns a guilty party to a particular sentence.  There is, however, a huge difference between a legal judge, and a private individual who passes judgment on others.

First of all it is the job of a judge to judge, and he is specially trained to do so. Only after many years of intensive study and rigorous experience as an attorney, prosecutor or magistrate is he considered a candidate for the bench. Secondly, in the course of doing his job, a judge must consider all the evidence.  He is required to listen to every side and deliberate long and hard before coming to a conclusion.

Even when a judge passes judgment, it is normal for the convicted person to be able to lodge an appeal.  Thus even a judge’s decision is not usually the final word.

Why is a court of law is so fastidious about making sure the accused get a fair trial?  Because things are seldom the way they appear to be. Even when people are found guilty there are often pressures, extenuating circumstances and other factors that justify lenient sentences.

We can conclude, therefore, that we must not judge because we are not trained for it and because we do not know all the facts.  However there are two more reasons for not judging others:

• Everybody makes mistakes.  Nobody is perfect and therefore no one can say that he or she is any better than anybody else
• By judging others you are setting yourself up to be judged and criticized by others

A judgmental attitude is, therefore, detrimental to your inner peace because it is accompanied by critical, condemnatory thoughts and a desire for revenge.

Instead of judging others you and I need to practice acceptance and forgiveness.  Accept the things you cannot change, including those injustices that have been perpetrated against you. Forgive those who may have hurt you and are guilty of wrongdoing.  You will never attain inner peace without letting go and choosing to forgive.

The third requisite of inner peace is freedom from worry.

Worry is an expression of doubt and fear.  When you doubt your ability to overcome a problem, or when you fear that something traumatic will happen to you, it seems natural to worry.  The fact, though, is that practically all problems in your life will, in time, be overcome or managed.  Also, more that 90% of the things we fear never happen.  So why worry?

If the worst happens, handle it then.  Address your problems when they actually take place, and not before.  Take this attitude and interesting things happen.  You will find that the vast majority of worries are mere fantasies.  You will also discover that if a problem does materialize, there are ways to address it and it is seldom as bad as you thought is would be.   Furthermore, problems often reveal opportunities and frequently turn out to be blessings in disguise.

4.  Learn to manage problems

Problems challenge us to get out of our comfort zones.  They stretch us to reach beyond current circumstances and they enable us to acquire skills, grow and achieve our potentials.

I love the story about the factory worker who worked the late night shift.  Each morning at 3:00 am, this man trudged home after work.  It was a relatively long journey because he walked around a cemetery, which stood between the factory and his home.

One early morning, feeling particularly tired, he decided to take a short cut and walk through the graveyard.  His fears subsided when he discovered that there was nothing to worry about.  No ghosts appeared, no one jumped out at him and he saved a two-mile walk.

After hiking through the cemetery several times, the worker’s concerns dissolved entirely and the graveyard route became his normal way home.

One dark night, following his new path, the shift worker fell into a newly dug grave.  Desperately he tried to get out, but the burial pit was just too deep.  After several attempts he concluded that he was in no danger.  So he decided to relax and wait until morning, when someone was sure to pass by and help him out.

The worker sat down in a corner of the grave and was half asleep when a drunken tramp fell into the grave.  The drunk started screaming and frantically tried to scramble out, clawing the sides of the pit.

Aroused from his slumber, the factory worker sought to calm down his companion. He touched the drunk on the leg and said,  “My friend, don’t fight it, you’re stuck here with me and there’s nothing you can do about it”.  But he was wrong.  The drunk got of the grave in a flash.

This drunk would never have known what he was capable of had he not fallen into the grave.

Problems are part of life.  It’s not possible to live for long without experiencing problems of one sort of another.  So why do we have them?  After reflecting long and hard on this matter, I have come to the conclusion that we have problems because we need them.

We need problems to grow, to shake us out of our comfort zones, and to learn.  Without problems we become complacent, and we never reach the potential we are capable of.

Let us not deny that problems may be painful.  Yet, at the same time, problems teach us valuable lessons.  What was done, or not done, that contributed to the difficulty being experienced?  To the extent that we learn from our actions or inactions, we become more knowledgeable and skilled.

See problems as opportunities to grow.  Remember that problems contain improvement potential.  Look for the possibilities inherent in the situation.  Find creative solutions.  They are usually there if you look for them.  And never be afraid to ask for help.  All around us are people who have the knowledge, experience and expertise to help and encourage us. Never be too proud to seek the assistance of others.

Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles. They are uncomfortable and unpleasant, yet they make us strong: as long as we do not become despondent and give up.

When faced with adversity, always remain positive.  Think of problems as opportunities to use your creative abilities, opportunities to learn what you need to know to become more effective.

See problems as a part of life, and know that you will be a far better person with those that you overcome or manage, than if you didn’t have them.

5) Take time to play

Life is difficult. Yet it behoves us not to take it too seriously.  Unless you take out time to relax and play you will become a sombre, driven and humourless individual.

There is a great difference between being driven and motivated.  To be driven often means to be socially dysfunctional. Such a person may be a business giant, but does not know what it means to be a husband, wife, father and friend.

Go to dinner with such people and work is the only thing on their minds. They have never learnt to relate to human beings outside of the office.  And they are certainly not fun to be with.

Some time ago I attended an evening function and sat next to the managing director of a company.  The evening was a carefully planned one, with several well-known entertainers and a live band providing a night of recreation and enjoyment.

It was a superb function.  The comedian was outstanding, the singer brilliant and the band excellent.  Throughout the night people were laughing, singing and dancing, and for me it was one of the highlights of the convention.  Yet this MD was silent, morose and obviously ill at ease the entire evening.

When I mentioned to one of the MD’s colleagues that he seemed preoccupied all night, the reply I got was that the MD never enjoyed himself outside of work.  He thought fun was frivolous and only attended events and ceremonies because he was expected to. Later on I discovered that this man had been divorced four times, had experienced a nervous breakdown, was afflicted by health problems, including ulcers and a heart condition, and often demonstrated stress related symptoms.  He had a brilliant mind but did not know how to relate to people other than in a business context.

We all need to take time to laugh and have fun.  This is the purpose of play.

To play is to enjoy and amuse oneself in some form of recreation.  In play we drop the facades and pretences that separate us from others.  There is no image to live up to, nothing to lose.  We can let go and be.

By definition, play is a form of recreation.  Recreation is to re-create; to recharge our batteries, to renew ourselves.

Unless we take time to play and have fun we will never know the joy of living.  Without play lie becomes a chore, devoid of happiness and harmony.  This is why play is one of the five P’s for successful living.

Conclusion

To live a life that is meaningful, satisfying and fulfilling – a successful life – it is essential that the five P’s are applied and integrated into your everyday behaviours.  The five principles are: purpose, passion, peace, problem solving and play.

Apply these principles and you will encounter peace of mind and meaning.  This does not suggest that you will never encounter difficulties, obstacles, setbacks or even tragedy.  It does mean that in the face of unpleasant circumstances and suffering there is a purpose and the potential for growth.

On the other hand, to compromise or neglect any of these principles is to live a life that is wasted.  Ultimately your existence will be characterised by guilt, regret and lack of fulfilment.

Now that you know the principles for successful living, the choice is yours. Use them and allow your true destiny to manifest, or become a victim of life’s vicissitudes.